French: "Je ne sais pas quoi faire de ces sentiments" English: "I don't know what to do about this feeling."-photo by Michelle Rivas
It all started when I saw Eat Pray Love this past Saturday evening with Lauren. You see I already suffer enough from this disease called wanderlust, now it just makes me itch even more. I don't know how to satisfy this craving. Reading, watching documentaries, pondering, talking, only does so much to ease the mind for the time being. I don't know what to do about this feeling.
Sure I am trying to do an internship to Disneyworld this winter. Sure I am planning on teaching English to kids in China. Sure I am already starting to research a spiritual journey to India to learn more deeply about meditation (Not switching to any other religion! I love being LDS and I am staying that way; I just like researching other religious aspects to be a more rounded and devoted Latter-Day-Saint. Believe me it is not for all people to look at other religions, you will get confused. I observe them to learn how to be closer to God in my religion-like meditation by Buddhists for example).
Here I sit with this intruding question on how just exactly I will get to this moment of absorbing the magical locales of mysterious spots of the world into my brain through my eyes, when my mind started to highlight different wondering thoughts to make a rough draft of a route.
First, I want a word. Call me cliche, a follower, but it is true I want a word that describes me completely. A mantra, if you will. In the yogic tradition a mantra is a Sanskrit word that has special powers to transform mind, body and spirit. Translated, mantra means, “that which when reflected upon gives liberation.” I need that word to say to remind me to be guided by my soul (mind, body and spirit in one) because lets face it I get side-tracked easily.
Second, I waste too much money on me any my everlasting wardrobe of clothes and house items. I am not going to lie, I actually love to save more than I spend, but I am still cutting down. Only buying sentiments that have a story with a pinch of eccentric elegance. I am going through all my things and then finding a family to give it to. I will save more, Even if it means to open a Swiss account to keep me from my habit of burning money. End of story.
Third, hope and pray that the economy will stop destroying itself. That we will stop destroying the economy. Our futures depend on this detail. I hate it. I hate depending on the corrupt to stop being so corrupt for any of us to reap the benefits of our hard work. You muffed it up, now we have to fix it. Thanks. Now only if my generation would stand for something. Why are people so afraid of being bold, of being courageous, of being something more then a techno robot following whoever sounds good. What happened to fighting for words with actual meaning? My generation has strong will and so much potential. If only we weren't easily persuaded by large groups we loose our identities in, and handsome ramblers at the podiums spewing words that rob power from us to put it in their pockets in exchange for the depleting dollar bill. They make millions off of feeding us their lies, and we gobble it up like starving zombies.
Fourth, map it out. This includes a map and a journal full of places to be visited, and intense networking. You can't get around unless you know someone. It is better fun to see the back roads only locals know about. When I travel I want to be engulfed in the secret beauties, not just tourist attractions.
Fifth, fall in love with someone who is infested with just as much wanderlust as I am and decorate our future house according to our travels. (Hey, I am a young lady.) Going with decorating according to my travels, I want to transfer what I see into some creative job I take on in life (besides being a mom). Yes, my travels will be for educational purposes as well as fulfilling life long dreams.
In the end, all I can do really is put it in God's hands. I have a plan, but He ultimately will help me achieve this. I will work hard, I just need His help to give me the resources. I will meditate and read until the day I die to help me embrace and love the beauty even more-to make it a personal salvation in a way.
Now that I have mentioned LOVE, I want to talk about it. I think it the English language constricts our ability to express. It is simply pathetic that we have one word to describe all the dimensions of LOVE. We have to use the same word when identifying our love for someone and love for our favorite afternoon snack. Those are not the same level of LOVE, yet we only have one word to describe it all. Don't get me wrong I love the word LOVE, it is tres passionate. I just wish we could demonstrate with our vocabulary all the various angles of the word LOVE.
Monday, August 16, 2010
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3 comments:
That's a rant...I mean a wrap.
You have a way with words sis. Just don't get lost in them. It's very easy to do. To fall in love with what you are saying. Remember, what you think about all the time is what you become. and it isn't always what you think it is.
Deep, I know. I can't seem to help myself.
Oh, and I once heard that books are amazing because they are the cheapest way to travel. And if you check them out from the public library they are FREE. That is, If you return them on time and not 4 months later and they have sent you to collections for a missing book that you didn't even read before you lost it but will now cost you $37.89.
That is all. The end.
Wow, I will keep both those priceless pieces of advice in mind!
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